Lately, I’ve been experimenting with sleeping patterns. By taking 4-6 hour naps instead of sleeping for 8+ hours, I’d have to stop everything and think 2-3 times a day. And I’ve been asking myself “What is stress and anxiety, and why does it happen?”
It’s easy to ignore stress if it becomes a part of your daily life. It also seems to be a similar occurrence with everyone else, so, “you’re not alone” 🙂
However, the little things that have built up, hidden behind a distracted agenda, linger in your mind once you take a break from your usual cycle.
— When I’m wide awake at 4 A.M there is a lot of time to think about “what’s different?”
So, Basically,
A) certain things are accepted as normal when they happen constantly
B) by changing your cycle, some hidden perspectives take shape.
My only question is, who’s to blame?
— Generally my answer is some wide generalization of “the system.”
Naturally, I would like to blame something I don’t understand to scape goat my own system that I am comfortably stuck inside, but this is not the case.
Is it productive to just blame society for your lack of personal independence and then move on depending on the system you dislike to feel comfortable?
— probably not.
Alright then, so what’s my system like?
A)My system rates my activities on how it will benefit my future.. Not the present AND the future.
B)My system seeks to be rewarded by others. (Since I’ve never considered my own happiness in a “present” moment, congratulating myself doesn’t take the stress away.)
C)My system follows a lifestyle I disagree with, and pities myself for not finding a better one yet.
D)The system that believes doing irresponsible things is a reward for/makes me feel less controlled by the responsible things I do every day.
Ultimately, why do I keep trying to seek pleasurable experiences when all my mind and body wants is to rest and reflect?
I think it’s easy tosay that many of us need to spend more time unwinding and spending time with ourselves.
After awhile, it’s hard to face what’s been hiding under our busy agenda’s
Life is full of opportunities to advance in whatever way you want to!
How you interpret this is up to you,
But if anything what Im saying is:
closing your eyes often,
and reflecting on how you feel
about the system you have created,
may help you on your journey.
Thanks for reading guys!
Noles Journal 